But breaching the privacy of an intimate relationship seemed worth doing to gynecologist Jen Gunter (writing in the NYT), because it was the male who (from her perspective) lacked interest in having sex.

... my story feels different than the narrative advanced by our patriarchal society. 

This one individual deserves to have his personal story told in the NYT because in general people have a stereotype that the man is the one who wants sex all the time and it's women with the lack-of-interest limitation. That's such an awful basis for betrayal. It elevates stereotypes over real individuals.

Back in 2003, I was home with two premature infants, both on oxygen and attached to monitors that constantly chirped with alarms. Had even Ryan Reynolds — circa “The Proposal,” not “Deadpool” — shown up, he would have needed to display expertise in changing diapers and managing the regulator on an oxygen tank to interest me.

Looking back on my relationship, the frequency of sex dropped off quickly. I told myself it would get better because there were other positives. I falsely assumed that men have higher libidos, so clearly this was temporary....

I'm confused. Who is this man you're talking about? Is he the father of the 2 premature infants? Does everyone who knows you know who he is?

I was embarrassed when my attempts at rekindling the magic — things like sleeping naked or trying to schedule date night sex — fell flat. I started to circuitously ask friends if they ever felt similarly rejected. 

Did you ask him?

Eventually I decided that sympathy sex once or twice a year was far worse than no sex. I worried that no intervention would be sustainable, and the time not addressing the issue had simply taken its toll. We were terribly mismatched sexually, and it wasn’t something that he was interested in addressing.

So you asked him? What was that like? I'd like to hear his side. I can't believe you're exposing him like this in the NYT. Were you this cold to him when you were experiencing the coldness from him?

My experience led me to listen differently to women speaking about their sex lives with men, whether in my office or in my personal life. There are spaces between words that tell entire stories. 

Oh, here we go. Women telling their stories. If enough women tell their stories, then maybe someday, the old stereotype — men as sex machines — will be demolished....

Many tell me intimate details, so glad to have someone in whom they can confide....

In the old days, that was called gossiping, and it was considered wrong. Then came consciousness-raising sessions and, later, telling your stories about all the sexual things.

I want women to know that if they are on the wanting end for sex, they are not alone.

You could have said that, made that bond, without betraying the man — was he the father? — who lived through the time of premature babies with you.

Sexuality and relationships are complex, and there are no easy answers. It’s not good or bad to have a high, a medium or a low libido. You like what you like, but if you don’t speak up about what you want, you can’t expect the other person to know.

Wait. There are some easy answers. Don't, without consent, reveal what you have learned through intimacy unless there's some very specific justification, and adding one data point to contradict a stereotype is not good enough.

ADDED: I'm not surprised to see that the NYT has disallowed comments on this one.

AND: It's not okay for a woman to disparage a man for choosing not to have sex when she wanted sex, just as it's not okay for a man to disparage a woman for choosing not to have sex. Gunter says that she got in bed naked and also "schedule[d] date night sex," but the man did not provide sex. Imagine a man telling a similar tale about a woman: I scheduled a night for sex and I got in bed naked, but she didn't give me sex. What would people say? Who the hell does this guy think he is?! At best! I could imagine him getting denounced in full-on #MeToo mode.